I am so glad that the postal vote on same-sex marriage happened while I was living here in Warrnambool, because I needed to make peace with this town.

Growing up here in the 70s, 80 and 90s was not easy for those who knew they didn’t fit the mainstream, but couldn’t articulate why, other than knowing to talk about it would lead to trouble.

Even for those of us who had long family ties here, there was a pervasive sense of not belonging to the main tribe, of being an outsider.

I used my humour to get through my years at Warrnambool High School when I knew I had an attraction to girls, but didn’t know what that meant, or what it was, or how it would be, and it scared me and I knew I had to hide by fumbling my way through a string of boyfriends and side-stepping the deb ball.

I have since learned that we were all hiding – all of us – Glenn, David, Michelle, Julie, Damien, me – there are probably many others, because to not hide was to face exclusion, to feel ashamed, to be hurt by those who were stronger and more powerful.

Most of us had to run away from Warrnambool to find out who we were. I was gone for 25 years.

This is why the postal vote on same-sex marriage penetrated so deep into the psyche and the skin of those who were at the centre of the poll: we have been there before, except this time it wasn’t just a small country town judging us, but the entire nation, as to whether we were worthy of the same rights as everybody else.

And that is why the significance of this vote went well beyond the right to marry, which is something many LGBTQI people still feel ambivalent about. This was a vote on equality and whether, at last, we could stop feeling ashamed and excluded.

Last Wednesday at 10am, we all held our breath.

And then came the sweet release of a YES.

YES. YES. YES. YES.

Two thirds of our corner of the world voted YES.

YES pulls up windows and let’s the breeze blow in.

YES opens the doors on our hearts.

YES turns down the volume on hate and ramps up the volume on kindness.

No wonder most of us spontaneously cried when the result came through – including warhorses like Senator Penny Wong and writer David Marr – because a “NO” vote would have been unbearable.

The temptation for many of us living in Warrnambool was to head to Melbourne and await the results on the steps of the State Library together with thousands of others, then – we hoped – party long into the night.

But as my friend Bill Abrahams said later, “it was important to be here” and he was right.

It was important on Wednesday night to be able to stand in what was, when I was growing up, Brebner’s Paint Shop – now the Dart and Marlin bar – and wave a huge rainbow flag while people from all walks of life in Warrnambool joined in the celebration.

Twenty years ago, maybe even ten, this would have been inconceivable. Somebody would have been hurt.

As horrific as the postal vote process was, I am glad it happened, because it gave Warrnambool a chance to grow in ways that I suspect will become even more apparent over time. From the rainbow flag flying above the Warrnambool City Council, to the extraordinary events at the temporary Haven space within the Warrnambool Art Gallery, to the ongoing presence of Yumcha at Brophy, we have shown we were ready for this.

A few days after the vote was announced, Bill posted a photo on Facebook of him sitting in a Warrnambool bar just after 2am. His hair is in an Elvis coiff and he is wearing pearls and a fake fox fur while, behind him, a bouncer dressed in black leans on the bar, gazing off into the middle distance.

“Donna please take a photo. It’s 2:20am, I’m wearing my pearls out in Warrnambool and I haven’t even been gay bashed!” he wrote.

This is the new Warrnambool – a better Warrnambool – and we can all live with that.

Analysis – Carol Altmann

Is the Warrnambool City Council in favour of same sex marriage?

I realised during a recent visit to California – one of 37 US states to have legal same sex marriage – that I didn’t know the answer and that it was time to find out.

While some people may argue that taking a stand on marriage equality is not a local council issue, it most certainly is, because it reflects what sort of community we are and what sort of community we wish to live in.

In just the same way that many councils are now declaring their positions on family violence, racism, asylum seekers and climate change – all, big-ticket, federal issues with local implications – so too are they choosing to stand up in support of same-sex marriage as part of social justice and equality.

It is all about sending a message, a clear and unequivocal message, that we are tolerant, open-hearted and accepting of a diverse community and in a highly masculine, regional city like Warrnambool, this is even more important, because growing up gay in such an environment can be tough – even in 2015.

Byron Shire Mayor Simon Richardson last year sent a marriage equality proclamation to every council around Australia and has since been watching the results flow in.

I was surprised to learn that, perhaps prompted by Mayor Richardson, more than a dozen councils around Australia have since declared their support for marriage equality, including the unanimous vote by Hobart City Council in April.

Other councils to express their support thus far include Albury, Glen Eira, Greater Geelong- Surf Coast, Tenterfield, Byron Shire, Sydney, Leichardt and Port Douglas, while Launceston has embarrassed itself by going in the other direction and voting 8-3 against.

I say embarrassed itself because there is no doubt the wave of support for marriage equality among the majority of Australians (72% in a 2014 poll) will soon see Australia go where so many countries have gone before (21 at the most recent count) by legalising marriage between same sex partners.

Unfortunately our local politicians are embarrassing themselves too, with Wannon MP Dan Tehan, South-West coast MP Dr Denis Napthine and Victorian Upper House MP James Purcell all opposed to marriage equality.

Indeed some of the statements by our political representatives have been nothing short of extraordinary.

Take this example from Mr Tehan in 2010: “This isn’t a matter of discrimination of same-sex couples, this is about the union of marriage which is traditionally between a man and a woman and I believe it should stay like that into the future.”

Boy, that certainly sounds like discrimination to me.

And this from Mr Purcell, also in 2010: “I think same-sex relationships are quite legitimate – what people want to do is their business – but marriage is an institution that’s been around for thousands of years and I don’t think we need to change it.”

Quite legitimate? What people want to do is their business? Surely this is not a discussion on whether it is okay to be gay – god forbid we have to roll back the debate that far – but about equality and human rights.

Most of our Warrnambool City councillors, I am delighted to say, completely agree.

Bluestone contacted each of the councillors to ask the simple question: “Do you support gay marriage?” and five out of the seven chose to respond. Those that didn’t, disappointingly, were Cr Peter Hulin and Cr Rob Askew.

The remaining five, however, were all happy to express their support and here are their written responses:

Mayor Michael Neoh:  “I do not have any issue with consensual marriage between any two adults. This is my personal opinion.”

Cr Brian Kelson: “I don’t believe this should be a issue for local council, personally I believe in equality, but it will be a Federal decision that will make it a reality.”

Cr Jacinta Ermacora: “I’m sure you know already, but just confirming I support marriage equality. No government regulated institution should discriminate against any one in our society. What the religions believe is their business and will not be impacted by Bill (Shorten) and Tanya’s (Plibersek’s) legislation.”

Cr Peter Sycopoulis: “I have always tried to live a life where I treat others with equality, fairness and respect, irrespective of race, religion or even sexual orientation. I see no reason why I should treat the subject of gay marriage any differently. I support the concept of an individual’s right to choose.

“In particular, I find it quite unfair that same sex couples are not afforded the same legal rights and protection as others. The legal recognition of same-sex marriage would not only give all couples the same legal rights and protection but also the same legal responsibilities to their partner and family.”

Cr Kylie Gaston: “I have been a supporter of same sex marriage for years. I have many gay friends and have never been able to understand the logic that I had the right to marry and they did not. This is about ending discrimination.  So as a nation I believe we should remove discrimination against same sex de facto couples in federal legislation as an absolute priority so that all citizens of Australia will have equal rights on this matter.

“I find it frustrating and sad that we are now lagging behind many other countries over this matter especially when polling is indicating a clear majority of Australians support SSM. I’m looking forward to a couple of weddings of some very close friends in the not too far distant future!”

The question now is which councillor will take the next step and table a motion – or even Mayor Richardson’s proclamation – that the Warrnambool City Council declares its support for marriage equality?

This is as an opportunity for the council to not only add its voice to an important national discussion, but to remind every citizen of Warrnambool – regardless of gender, race or sexuality – that they are all equal.

[box]You can visit The Australian Marriage Equality website here.[/box]

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